Unlike other times in my life where I would try to convince myself I was enjoying the punctuations of singleness, I actually feel relieved--albeit, liberated--that "settling down" with someone no longer registers as even the slightest blip on my radar.
From my late teens to as recently as a few months ago, I forwent risk and adventure to focus on school, then work, then more school and more work, with a litany of exclusive relationships peppered in to consume the rest of the time.
I never allowed these things (thank GOD) to deter me from making my friendships a top priority, and those relationships still rank as highly as those I have with my family. However, there were several times I'd see my friends posting pictures on social media from their adventures abroad while I sat at home writing college essays or picking up shifts at work, refusing to carve out any sliver of time to treat myself to a getaway or even a day off.
After my last serious relationship ended in August, my roommate and I (accompanied by a bottle of wine...God bless my Houdini corkscrew) decided to make respective bucket lists.
My list consisted of desires to travel to cities both abroad and within the US--I realized that I hadn't ever been out of the country (not even to Canada, which is basically America's fedora), or even to New York City...and my best friend is from New York!
Since then, my perspective completely changed. It was time to stop shelving all my adventurous and creative aspirations in favor of burning out at work and fretting over the day my OBGYN asks me if I want to freeze my eggs since I haven't popped out any infants yet and there's no prospective husband in sight.
I started writing again, planned adventures and looked toward the future as a blank canvas that I should fill with events and anecdotes that make me happy--regardless of whether or not "the one" would decide to make an appearance and become part of that story.
I guess the point I'm trying to make here (in a manner that may be more longwinded than necessary...hey, it's almost 2:30 am and I am still recovering from my tryptophan-and-wine induced coma from Thanksgiving), is that when you view your future happiness, marriage and family don't necessarily have to be the endgame.
I've come to view finding a romantic partner I want to spend the rest of my days with as something that would be a happy surprise and gift, rather than a necessity. And to be honest, most of the happiest and most successful couples I know weren't interested in any of that stuff either before stumbling upon each other.
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